Saturday, October 9, 2010

I saw this going very differently in my mind:) | Blogged

And......she's back. So...The season is almost over:( I know. So sad for me...but if I am being completely honest....I am just the teensiest bit relieved. This has been such a whirlwind year for me. I officially started my biz back in March and holy wow!! To say that I have been crazy busy would be an understatement. I have the best friends and family in the entire universe. Seriously. I have been overwhelmed with support over this past year. I have never been busier in my life and this Spring/Summer has gone by sooo fast that I barely have had time to even stop and thank everyone. :) I am forever grateful.
I am looking forward to the winter so that I can regroup, refresh, rejuvenate..whatever you want to call it. Call me weird, but I feel like photography has been my bestest friend over the past year and a half. It has been there for me no matter what, it strokes my ego every now and then, makes me feel good about myself and it can take the worst day and turn it around with just one.perfect.shot.......BUT...and there is always a but.... Photography is also a very needy best friend. My photog friends will attest to this, I'm sure. I NEED to take pics, I NEED to do just one more session.....I NEED to just edit this one last pic......I NEED to go out NOW while the light is still great.. I NEED NEED NEED. And all the while, my kids and husband wait (im)patiently for me to pull myself away from the computer, to edit one more picture, to go to one more session, to come out from behind the lens....and To stop trying to document life..and just live it. I started on this path because I truly believed that my life was too short to waste on anything other than what I was truly passionate about but throughout the course of this journey...I have come to realize that while photography is my passion...My family is my true love.
Photography is *that* friend..... you know the one. The one that your spouse loves to hate. The "fun" friend that always wants you to go places and do things because she is single and has no kids and just doesn't get why you can't come:( and pouts about it when you say no. The *friend* that calls you a hundred times a day just because. The *friend* that pulls you away from friends and family...because she fills some need in you to be good at something.
Just ask my kids. I took them to the park tonight and as always, I had my camera with me.....It didnt dawn on me until later when we were walking home...but I didnt once *play* with my kids the entire time we were there. Not once. I was too busy trying to *capture* the moment...and the sunset. When really I should have been savoring each and every second with those munchkins. Ask my husband....who hasn't had an evening alone with me since May. Because the photography world would just stop turning if I didnt take pictures for ONE NIGHT. right. And so.....what's a girl to do. A needy, yet insanely fun and fulfilling best friend vs 4 people that I love so much that my heart feels like it will without a doubt explode. You guessed it.....There is no competition. So where does that leave SCP? Big changes for 2011. I will still undoubtedly find it nearly impossible to say no...I will still probably overbook and overextend myself. I will still probably never leave home without my camera. But my priorities have shifted...It's no longer about the business succeeding. In my mind, my success lies in the eyes of my children and my husband...not in how many sessions I can book in a month...or how many hours I can log in photoshop this week. Finding balance between my passion and my true love...that is success. Everything else is just icing on the cake. Wish me luck:)


  1. I totally understand how you're feeling....sometimes, you've just gotta leave it at home...and sometimes you've just gotta take pictures. You'll get'll learn how to balance it will work out if you work on it :)

  2. God is with you every step of the way, you are meant to do what is destine! Do what makes you happy & make time for your family and friends. In the end, they are what matters!

  3. Thanks Crystal:) It's good to know that I'm not alone:) Thank God I have my CM girls to vent to!!!! :):)

  4. Yea that your business is booming so much that you don't have time for anything else. Boo that your business is booming so much that you don't have time for anything else. :) Honey you will make it all work. Being a full time mama and a full time employee takes time and lots of effort. You will get there I am sure. 2011 will be heaven!!! (That might be the cheesiest line of 2010!!!) Love ya girlie!!

  5. Oh Sheila, you know we've talked about this many times, so I know exactly how you feel. Great post. May 2011 be more balanced for both of us! And sometimes I "forget" my camera on purpose when I am with my kids...and in the back of my mind I am kicking myself when I see them in the gorgeous light, but I'm learning to take little mental pics for me to savor all to myself. It's hard, but it's so worth it to be able to give my family my undivided attention sometimes. Love you!